Top Tipz 4 Hunz

 

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  1. If you have to ask someone if they think your hair is greasy, it is hun, get out that Batise

2. Unless you have black brows, do not use black pencil on them, it looks naff hun (Unless you are a MUA and know how to do them or you are Cara Delvigne then fair nuff)

 

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3. Get seam free knickers or a nice thong for yourself if you are wearing ya leggybums cos no one likes VPL hun

 

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4. When you are on the bus try to find a nice hun that looks like she smells okay to sit beside, avoid da fella combing out his mot’s nits cos that will end in tears I am telling you hun

 

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5. Understand that if you are on Tinder, those fellas are only looking for a bang and if you are only looking for a bang then great hun but don’t be getting sex fairies off yer man Darryl in the Corsa after one night of lust, hun

 

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6. Stop following the haters on social media hun, it is a waste of your time and energy, if you want to be a huntastic hun then focus on yourself and not them

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7. Wear sunscreen hun, Jesus H Christ it is hot out there and you’ll burn the gorge brows off you if you don’t, also top tips for thigh chaffing, bit of Vaseline and you’ll be trotting along like your man Usain Bolt, having a masso arse is in fashun too so don’t be worrying if you do have a lil bit of chiff chaff

 

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8. On that note, always have some deo in that bag hun, it’s rotten out, no amount of primer is gonna keep this face intact or body dry

9. If you’re a blondie like myself and you can’t afford the root touch up, get the Bastise out again, it’s v versatile, giz your roots a blast and you’ll be more Marilyn Monhoe then Lindsey Lohan circa when she was in court for drink drivin

 

10. If anyone tells you to be less of anything hun, be more of it (unless you are a murderer or sumthing as awful as that)

 

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11. Top tip for bringing the prinks to the club alri, so you get your naggin but the drastic mistake people make here is not putting the mixer in, the bar lads know whats when you order a 7up but you are already a plastered hun. Get a lil vod and razza first, then put the full mix in on top of the ice and voila, a cheeky yet successful hun

 

 

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12. Stop putting all your make up on with yer hands for the love of God get some brushes for ya mush or it’ll look like finger painting gone wrong and less Mona Lisa

 

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13. 20 Minutes of walking does not equate to a spice bag hun, I am soz

14. If ur friends tell you u r exactly like Bridget Jones, unfollow them on twitter, those huns need to be taught a lesson

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15. If ur m8s say “U okay hun?” and you are not okay, just tell them hun, there’s no point in bottling up all that negative energy in ya life, fellow huns are always there for support, and naggins

16. Just be yourself hun, that’s the one major thing this hun would tell people, there is no other hun out there in the world like you, you’re one in a billion of huns so love the hun you are no matter what.

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Hannah Kingston

This blog is a collection of ramblings from a girl who is trying to remain both emotionally and economically stable during her first year in the big smoke

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