We all want to look as glam as Dita Von Teese, but how can we do this when we can barely afford cheese? The answer is simple my friends, follow Hannah’s tips on how to look like a princess (in her opinion) with the income of a plebeian.
An easy way to do this is pick your shops right, but most importantly, your products. The easiest way to achieve a healthy glow is by using bits that are not laden with chemicals. These bits don’t need to break the bank either. Focus on a more or less attitude. Please see my bits of the week for getting your glow on when you’re, well, just a bit poor to be honest.
Bits for Fighting Bold Skin: Sudocrem
I don’t know any hunz who don’t use the magic that is Sudocrem. Spots? Sudocrem. Weird rash? Sudocrem. Broke your phone again? Sudocrem. Life falling apart? Sudocrem. It’s a skin and life fixer. Keep it in the fridge and whip her out whenever the PMS hits. At an average retail price of 2.70 for a mini-tub, it won’t break the bank but it will keep the spots at bay and skin a-glowing.
Bits for Sexy Hair: Coconut Oil
Coconut Oil is like so vegan man. No, but really, it’s one of the most natural ingredients and you can put into your tasty treats and also on yourself – revolutionary! It works wonders on hair, skin, nails and even making your eyes shine. It’s a perfect hair mask especially if you’re addicted to making your hair an unnatural hue of blonde. Microwave two table-spoons in a mug and massage into your scalp for a sleek mane. A big jar which will cover stir-frys and self care from Aldi is only 3.49. Be rude not to.
Bits for Anti- Fatigue: Tea Tree Oil
There’s something about essential oils that will make you feel like a bit of a sex goddess. The smell, the oilness, it’s all there. This particular brand is sold in Dealz at 1.49 and it is amazing, for pretty much everything. It works as an anti-bacterial for blemishes, it can help unblock a chesty cough when rubbed into the lower back and it’s a moisturizer. Tired eyes from too much slaying? Soak two cotton pads in a three tablespoons of tea tree oil and then wring out. Place the pads in the fridge for twenty minutes. Place the two pads over your eyes and relax. Puffiness and greyness be gone and for 1.49! Snaps for Dealz.
Get Moist with: Silcocks Base
Moisturizing, for most of us, is a concept of fun and games. That is until we wake up looking like leather bags due to a life of drinking too much gin and thinking our Celtic skin can handle the sunshine. Moisture is key. As mentioned, my mantra is less is more when it comes to the back-stage bits we do to wake up flawless. Silcocks Base is like lard for skin. There is nothing better in this world than shaving your whole body, rubbing two inches of this stuff all over yourself and lying into fresh sheets, marinating in the goodness. It’s average retail price is 3.25 for a massive tub that will honestly last six months. It’s used in hospitals and is suitable for sensitive skin, especially eczema. Moisturizing prevents wrinkles and increases blood circulation, it’s like science, look it up.
Be a Skinny Bitch with: Lemons
Obviously lemons are cheap so this is probably a bit obvious however they are also multi-functional and wonderful. Adding lemons to your water and tea massively reduces water retention. We have all experienced a bit of a bloat. There’s nothing worse than starting the day feeling dayum fione and finishing the day with a struggle to get out of your denims that have become a walking gastric band. Add lemon to all of your liquids and this will help fight the Burrito baby you’ve been carrying around since lunch. The acidity of the fruit breaks down membranes relieving us of gas (farts). It’s anti-septic qualities are also said to help fight blemishes. Get your fruity booty on at an average and very decent retail price of 50c.